Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
