He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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