whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It's never too late to be topless.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
