just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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