it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
