It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
