so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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