think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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