Too much gin, very little bucket
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
sex in a hospital.. check
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
