the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Randomize
