doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
