But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
