Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I believe in your delicious
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
