They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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