Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
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