If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
