One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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