i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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