Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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