i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
