just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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