I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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