So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
