you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
