He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i came on her dog
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Randomize