I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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