The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
