jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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