At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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