so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
