A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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