I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
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