I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize