Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We left an ass print on the piano.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
