FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize