I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
