Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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