you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
So I just went to clothing optional bar
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
