the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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