That's intense
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
if i died would you start the facebook group?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
