i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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