If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize