I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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