I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
