There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
