Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

Pappa wants mamma naked

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(248): View more from Michigan

In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.

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(636): View more from Missouri

It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.

(314): View more from Missouri

Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.

(1-423): View more from Tennessee

I honestly don't know what to make of that.

(423): View more from Tennessee

A ham sandwich would be nice.

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(302): View more from Delaware

didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official

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(512): View more from Texas

I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.

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(516): View more from New York

Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.

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