we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
