your parents love me but you hate me
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
