Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
