Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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