puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
