What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize