not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
