I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
