In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
