We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
