i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
