I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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