My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
so explain again why im purple
no
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
