My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
