And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
