im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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